This will be done in several days and several times. Too lazy to write at once.
Money first - just worked on my accounting tab yesterday.
B. almost strangled me on the neck when we did our accountings together. He screamed "And so you said you started saving". I couldn't blame him, I did waste lots of money in last few months. And last year too.
I bought too many stuffs which I eventually throw them away, give them away, sell them off just to get rid of them, or I just bury them at the bottom of my closet.
In the mean time, I saved a little money, few hundreds bucks haha. And I found out that banking in VN is such a pain in my ass.
CS did cost a significant part of my time and $$. Lucky me, I've found a better way to host people, and still cost efficient. Hope that I still can do it in 2010 in the way both sides can be happy.
I figured I do have a talent to make the cheapest activity to be expensive. For an instance, swimming is cheap. But my bikinis are damn expensive. 300K just for the top. But on a second thought, I think my top deserves a decent bikini haha.
Also, when I look on my numbers and the reasons I spent the money on, I found some odd things, including some people who lied to me. Too bad, some of them I considered them as "friends". C'est lav ie!!!
Lesson leanrt: spend money better and wiser. And find some cheaper hobbies. Almost all of my hobbies are way too expensive for an average Vietnamese: travels, bars, archery, hi-tech stuffs, delicious food.
Career: This year was a very weird, storming and laid back year. For many reasons, including my health, I didn't go any further on my career path. I did get raises - in plural - however, it's not on the track I wanted. I changed projects, just to stumble upon another shitty position which demands lot of effort and the repay is almost zero. How does that sound to you?
Lesson learnt: forget your boss. Work by the payment, do not spend extra effort if you know that your boss would never repay it. Period.
Friendship: What makes me rally happy that I found my old friend back from college - Dang. I did not find him via his email. I was bored and joined the translation for facebook. I was curious enough to look for the top contributor and his name and a tiny avatar showed up. I wasn't sure so I email him, and he replied me back. And that's how we re-connected. And things are just like yesterday, we still talk in the same way we were back then :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I've seen death, I've seen birth...
A poem for who are roaming on the rainbow bridge.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
by Mary Elizabeth Frye
A poem for who are roaming on the rainbow bridge.
Do not stand at my grave and weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Min
And so, finally Min has arrived the forever destination of his journey in life.
I'm crying out on the first day of the year. But I';m also glad that he finally be free from pains, real pains, from his cancer.
I'm glad that Min's mother is a very understanding one, and she has learnt how to accept her son completely, with a big warm heart, and that gave T. a chance to see Min 2 days before he went unconscious.
I couldn't fly to Germany to see last time, but L. did that for me. That's right, after all, I think T. needs her the most. "As long as he is happy, I don't give a damn about what people think", said L.
We used to have 13 in the gang, a nice number. Now is 7. And with L. moving out to the States, we will have 6. Waht do we expect from this kind of very special bond?
This is nothing new, one died, many others are born. Life goes on, as it never ends.
But life without Min is not the same. We will always have you in our heart, Dr.Min.
I'm crying out on the first day of the year. But I';m also glad that he finally be free from pains, real pains, from his cancer.
I'm glad that Min's mother is a very understanding one, and she has learnt how to accept her son completely, with a big warm heart, and that gave T. a chance to see Min 2 days before he went unconscious.
I couldn't fly to Germany to see last time, but L. did that for me. That's right, after all, I think T. needs her the most. "As long as he is happy, I don't give a damn about what people think", said L.
We used to have 13 in the gang, a nice number. Now is 7. And with L. moving out to the States, we will have 6. Waht do we expect from this kind of very special bond?
This is nothing new, one died, many others are born. Life goes on, as it never ends.
But life without Min is not the same. We will always have you in our heart, Dr.Min.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The mourning morning.
So today is collected day. Day that I have to help Hiro-san move out, day that i need to clean up all the shedded hair of Rin on the bed, day I have the last chance look at the living room which almost always had the 3 of us in the family.
In the last 6 months, things were crazy. Rin had been traveling from here to there, spent 1 week in south Africa, then another week, another week... I did have a feeling what if Rin never came home in night that I went out until dawn, then I stopped by to check out feverish Hiro-san sleeping in Rin's bed. I thought I would never know what to do with that delicate creature of 6' tall but very fragile.
When I picked up the phone on the day Rin gone, I knew what it was about. My hands were almost frozen, icy cold and i lost a tone or two on my voice, barely listened to Hiro-san's trembling voice. His voice was like from very faraway down to me, and yet it's like hot iron marked in my heart. He said I not to come, he said he prepared everything himself, he said he would bring Rin's ash to Kanazawa and keep it under a cherry tree; so that Rin may see the cherry blossom in his birthmonh, and Rin may see his fav Kenrokuen...And finally, he quietly told me Rin asked me to keep strong, never drift from my path, and now that Rin's gone, I may just leave all the madness behind, cut of the tie I had always detested.
Surprisingly, Hiro-san was so much more than I imagined. Finally, I was the one broken down with pressure. Only him stood tall, slowly explain his right on the marriage with Rin, talking about how Rin suffered, and said that the Kai family had nothing to confront him anf take Rin's body back. "And that's finalized everything, you all may take your leave" said Hiro-san, and that was on of rare chance I see him using his noble characteristic and language in both English and Japanese.
I need to try my best to keep all the tears not overflow whenever i saw Hiro-san after that, or whenever I see anything reminds me of Rin. We're so much alike, hiding our troublesome part of the life related to Kai family beneath our social life, hiding all the dirty party of living in such a family, trying to suppress our desire of happiness for other's well-being and struggling to resolve the puzzle of life.
And it has so much thing about Rin, as if he was my brother ever since I was born, as if he had been protecting me since my childhood, more than anyone else I have a connection before.
And it's so much pain whenever I look at the living room, as I can see Rin comfortably sat on the couch, reading a book, stretching his long legs; And I comfortably put my head on his lap, asking some questions from the book he asked me to read with too many new words make me complain; And with Hiro-san drawing something he fancied for his new collection, occasionally asked me and Rin "how is this?", and it turned out that was a Poodle dog with weird grooming. And we laughed.
We laughed so hard that the laugh still echos in the room, lingers in the air, soundly repeated in the ears...til forever.
In the last 6 months, things were crazy. Rin had been traveling from here to there, spent 1 week in south Africa, then another week, another week... I did have a feeling what if Rin never came home in night that I went out until dawn, then I stopped by to check out feverish Hiro-san sleeping in Rin's bed. I thought I would never know what to do with that delicate creature of 6' tall but very fragile.
When I picked up the phone on the day Rin gone, I knew what it was about. My hands were almost frozen, icy cold and i lost a tone or two on my voice, barely listened to Hiro-san's trembling voice. His voice was like from very faraway down to me, and yet it's like hot iron marked in my heart. He said I not to come, he said he prepared everything himself, he said he would bring Rin's ash to Kanazawa and keep it under a cherry tree; so that Rin may see the cherry blossom in his birthmonh, and Rin may see his fav Kenrokuen...And finally, he quietly told me Rin asked me to keep strong, never drift from my path, and now that Rin's gone, I may just leave all the madness behind, cut of the tie I had always detested.
Surprisingly, Hiro-san was so much more than I imagined. Finally, I was the one broken down with pressure. Only him stood tall, slowly explain his right on the marriage with Rin, talking about how Rin suffered, and said that the Kai family had nothing to confront him anf take Rin's body back. "And that's finalized everything, you all may take your leave" said Hiro-san, and that was on of rare chance I see him using his noble characteristic and language in both English and Japanese.
I need to try my best to keep all the tears not overflow whenever i saw Hiro-san after that, or whenever I see anything reminds me of Rin. We're so much alike, hiding our troublesome part of the life related to Kai family beneath our social life, hiding all the dirty party of living in such a family, trying to suppress our desire of happiness for other's well-being and struggling to resolve the puzzle of life.
And it has so much thing about Rin, as if he was my brother ever since I was born, as if he had been protecting me since my childhood, more than anyone else I have a connection before.
And it's so much pain whenever I look at the living room, as I can see Rin comfortably sat on the couch, reading a book, stretching his long legs; And I comfortably put my head on his lap, asking some questions from the book he asked me to read with too many new words make me complain; And with Hiro-san drawing something he fancied for his new collection, occasionally asked me and Rin "how is this?", and it turned out that was a Poodle dog with weird grooming. And we laughed.
We laughed so hard that the laugh still echos in the room, lingers in the air, soundly repeated in the ears...til forever.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
What Have You Done
Things you have done during your lifetime:
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
() Been to Canada
(x ) Been to Mexico
( x) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
(x )Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost (physically and metaphorically)
(x ) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( x) Sang Karaoke - including back up singing
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
() Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x ) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
(x ) Been deep sea fishing
() Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
(x ) Lived in more than one country
() Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
() Seen a falling star and made a wish
() Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( x) Been on a cruise
( x) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( x) Been to Disneyland
() Truly believe in the power of prayer
(x ) Been in a rain forest
(x) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant-This does not include the Flying Dumbo ride!
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
() Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
() Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
() Found the greatest love of your life
(x) Kissed a total stranger
(x) Raced another motorbike
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Watched someone die
() Been to Canada
(x ) Been to Mexico
( x) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
(x )Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost (physically and metaphorically)
(x ) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( x) Sang Karaoke - including back up singing
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
() Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x ) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
(x ) Been deep sea fishing
() Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
(x ) Lived in more than one country
() Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
() Seen a falling star and made a wish
() Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( x) Been on a cruise
( x) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horse back riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( x) Been to Disneyland
() Truly believe in the power of prayer
(x ) Been in a rain forest
(x) Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant-This does not include the Flying Dumbo ride!
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
( ) Been water-skiing
() Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
() Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
() Found the greatest love of your life
(x) Kissed a total stranger
(x) Raced another motorbike
Monday, May 25, 2009
Just how long has it been?
Still your baby face and damn smooth skin makes me so jealous, not getting any older after many things happened.
Still your shyness keeps you quiet, and the way you swing your cup around you palm while listening to my non-stop talking.
You big hug, tightly and so warm.
You told me briefly about your missions, how you felt when you're in the middle of the forest...
how lonely you were when you were out there, all alone in the battle. And how furious you were when you heard that I broke up with my ex-bf then collapsed.
Yeah, just how I missed you, and you missed me, my buddy.
Funny, your message after going home to meet your uncle for an urgent family business. You said you wanted to drown him lol.
I always remeber how surprising I was when you landed you fist on the wall, talking to me angrily about your dad's objections.
That was not you at all. As you in me is a big bear, but kind hearted and gentle, one of the most gentle and quiet man I have ever known.
Simple, you're cool and collected. That's my compliment for you, all the time.
We know that our paths will never cross in any ways, but we know that we're both hold each other dearly in our heart.
Be strong, and keep going on the path you want. As from the beginning, I'm your biggest fan and supporter out there. You know that, right?
I'll teach my children to look up to you, teach them how to become a hero, to be as determine as you were in your 18.
It makes me smile really big when I imagine I'm in my 40 something, and you still look like a 30 something boy (can't believe we're same age!) and my children will call you uncle haha.
Still your baby face and damn smooth skin makes me so jealous, not getting any older after many things happened.
Still your shyness keeps you quiet, and the way you swing your cup around you palm while listening to my non-stop talking.
You big hug, tightly and so warm.
You told me briefly about your missions, how you felt when you're in the middle of the forest...
how lonely you were when you were out there, all alone in the battle. And how furious you were when you heard that I broke up with my ex-bf then collapsed.
Yeah, just how I missed you, and you missed me, my buddy.
Funny, your message after going home to meet your uncle for an urgent family business. You said you wanted to drown him lol.
I always remeber how surprising I was when you landed you fist on the wall, talking to me angrily about your dad's objections.
That was not you at all. As you in me is a big bear, but kind hearted and gentle, one of the most gentle and quiet man I have ever known.
Simple, you're cool and collected. That's my compliment for you, all the time.
We know that our paths will never cross in any ways, but we know that we're both hold each other dearly in our heart.
Be strong, and keep going on the path you want. As from the beginning, I'm your biggest fan and supporter out there. You know that, right?
I'll teach my children to look up to you, teach them how to become a hero, to be as determine as you were in your 18.
It makes me smile really big when I imagine I'm in my 40 something, and you still look like a 30 something boy (can't believe we're same age!) and my children will call you uncle haha.
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